What's A Good Parent?

What makes a good parent? Is it the ability to make your children happy? Building memories with them that will last a lifetime? I know many parents that spend their time trying to entertain their children. I have fond memories of my childhood.  It isn't because of what my parent bought me. They aren't memories of a large house and nice cars. I think it was just the spirit of the time spent as a family.

I question myself as a parent every day. Is what I am doing the best thing for my boys? I know being Malry's dad is a little more basic. Make sure he's comfortable. Keep him entertained. Make sure he is fed. And most importantly make sure he feels loved. He will be the same as an adult as he was a child. It's sad to me but it is still a fact.

Greggory is another story all together. What I do and what I say have a big effect on him. Every day I try to keep that in mind. Every day the things I do, in some small way, contribute to the man he will grow up to be.   That is a lot of responsibility. It can be overwhelming at times. I want him to be compassionate but not too soft. I want him to have confidence in himself but not be too full of himself. I want him to understand responsibility but not feel it to the point of guilt. I want him to be smart(he is) but not arrogant in his intelligence. Honesty is very important to me. I want it to be very important to him. There is so much I want for him. I fear that all the hopes and dreams I had for Malry have fallen on Greggory and I'm not sure that is fair.

So, what are our duties as parents? In my opinion we owe it to our children to make sure that they become good citizens, good people, good spouses and finally good parents if they choose to be. That means teaching them responsibility for their actions. They have to know that what they do impacts others. They have to know that their actions have consequences. If they learn about consequences then they will put more thought into those actions. That is a hard one to swallow for kids. It's hard to swallow for some adults I know.

Integrity: an adherence to a moral or ethical code. That one is tough to live, much less teach. It encompasses a lot. Honesty would fall under integrity. Being honest is morally and ethically right. You know, now that I think about it...responsibility for your actions would fall under integrity also. Maybe integrity as an idea would be the most valuable thing to teach a child. Maybe it would be a valuable idea for adults to live.  Maybe I'll learn something from this blog too.

Kids learn by example. Am I a good example to my son? I have my doubts. I think I am a good person but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a good parent. I have to be able to transfer what makes me a good person to my child. If I can give him what makes me good and teach him from my weaknesses maybe he will be a better person than me.  For example: I tend to yell a lot when I get angry. I know it isn't a good thing.  It's one of my weaknesses. When I yell at Greggory I feel bad about it.  But when I'm no longer angry, I try to go talk to him and tell him that Daddy has his flaws and yelling is one of them.  I tell him to learn from my mistakes. I use my weakness as a bad example of what to do. I'm not sure it's the right way to go, but, hey, just like this blog,  this life is a work in progress.