Twenty Years

Heather and I just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary.  I'm very proud of that. The subject actually generated some pretty good conversation between us over the course of the day.  Some conversation was suitable for public consumption and some was not.  What came up over dinner was the most interesting.  She and I both had been asked how we did it.  Making our marriage last for twenty years hasn't been easy.  Sometimes it was damn hard.  It would have been much easier to call it quits.  We agreed that it was work at times.  As we were having this conversation over dinner I came to realize that the hardest part of keeping things together was working on me.  I find my self constantly working to ensure that I am a person worth staying with.  I have to be aware of my faults.  I have to be aware of them and willing to fix them; as willing to fix them as she is to accept them.  If I take for granted that she will accept them and not be willing to change them then the relationship becomes lop-sided.  When it becomes out of balance then I think you have a problem.  The cool part is that you can change this if you see it happening.  You can tell your ego to take a hike.  Be the person that apologizes for the verbal jab that was uncalled for.  Fight the urge to say the first thing that comes to mind during an argument.  Be the person that is worthy of the love you receive.  I'm not saying this is a rule for all couples.  I'm saying this is a part of what has worked for us the past 20 years.  Thanks for reading.