The Essay That Began Our Growth.

My wife, Heather, and I found out that Malry had Cerebral Palsy when he was about 5 or six months old.  Because of his complicated birth an organization call Early intervention was brought in to help us in getting the right diagnosis and services if needed.  When Malry was a year old he started attending a center called Happy Hour School.  As the parents of a child like Malry early intervention was there to help us in any way they could.  Our case worker, who we credit with giving us the courage and building blocks to be the parents we are now, told us about a weekend of workshops for people involved with special education.  Parents were welcome and Early Intervention agreed to pay for us to go.  It was at this workshop that we first heard the essay I am about to share.  It is a bit long but it made such an impact on us that we have kept it close for 18 years. It's by Erma Bombeck and it is one of the most powerful things I have ever read.  Many who know us have seen it before but I wanted to share it again for those who have not.

The Miracle Of Getting A Handicapped Child
By: Erma Bombeck


Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few
by social pressure and a couple by habit.
This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of
handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how
mothers of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over earth, selecting his instruments for
propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to
make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, patron
saint, Cecelia. Rudledge, Carrie, twins, patron saint...give her Gerard, he's used to
profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped Child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy?" "Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be
cruel."
"But, has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity
and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today.
She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make it live in her
world and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough
selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never
survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't
realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She
will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she
will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind
child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations. I will permit her to see clearly
the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, and prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She
will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is
doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice." 

I don't know if Erma Bombeck had a handicapped child.  I've never
 thought to research it.  I do know that the words she wrote gave
Heather and me strength when we needed it.  It seemed to be a guide for us.  I hope that anyone I introduce it to will gain as much as we did from it.