Monday, December 10, 2012

Admiration

"I admire you."  A simple little sentence.  To be honest, I have heard it more than many people have.  To be even more honest, I'm not comfortable with it. My goal as a father has never been to be admired by other people.  My goal has always been to simply be the best father I can be and possibly be admired by my son.  Fate decided that I would be the father of a disabled child. He is disabled.  I am his father.  Taking care of my son is basic.  It can be emotional but he is my son.  Being admired for doing what a father does seems wrong to me. Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate someone having the courage to tell another person they admire them.  It has to mean something for them to voice it.  I just have a hard time swallowing it.  It's like taking a compliment that you don't think you deserve.  It is exactly like taking a compliment you don't feel you deserve.  It feels that way every time I hear it. Like when someone says I look good.  I'm thinking to myself they are nice but soooo full of it.  I guess all this is to say that if I am admired by someone maybe they respect me as well.  I am comfortable with respect.  You don't even have to like me.